The party that caused devastation
by Swimmingly Yours
Summary: Arwen and Aragorn throw a party at their house and invite all their friends. But oh boy, what started out to be a great idea is turning... weird... 11 (last one) of A Series of Random Events. Joins on from 'Arwen-Sitter'


This is the LAST STORY!!! Time's flown by so fast!!! You should actually read the others in order before this one, as this can have spoilers, so if you'd like to do that now, by all means, DO SO!!! They are all on this account and **happy molecule**'s account and are about all the members of the Fellowship, and Elrond… for some reason.

Enjoy!

*We don't own the characters. We own the depressing story we put them in.*

_"fast-paced, weird, funny from two very deformed writers." – _**yummi-beans**__

_"From a love triangle between two hobbits and a beer can, to a pair of eyeballs running loose, to a wizard and a half-elf fighting over porn, this twisted and twirled story certainly lives up to its title." – _**Michelle**__

_"This series is highly immature and abusive." – _**Aaron/edgy wedgy**

_"It was very good…"_ – **Cecilia**

**______________________________**

**The Party That Caused Devastation**

Aragorn! That was the first thing Arwen's brain registered when she regained consciousness. He was doing CPR… to her! She grinned. YUMMY!!!

_She enthusiastically wrapped her arms around Aragorn's neck and hugged him as tightly as she could. He hugged her back. Then he pulled away and looked at her confusedly._

_"Why are you here?"_

Uh-oh. "Umm…" she didn't have an explanation. She knew that Aragorn would have wanted her to stay with Pippin at home, but instead, she had run away! Aragorn would be angry! She couldn't tell him the truth. Instead –

"Why are _you_ doing here?" She asked him.

_Aragorn began laughing evilly. "That sounds so wrong!"_

_Arwen was pissed at his laughter. "Why are YOU doing here?"_

_Aragorn laughed harder. "That doesn't make sense!"_

_Arwen began crying hysterically. "All I wanted to know was why you're here!"_

_Aragorn pouted. "Aw, I'm sorry Arwen. Please don't cry. I was here to buy a present for you."_

_"Aw, now I feel really bad for running away from Pippin – " suddenly she realised what she just said. "Oh crap!"_

_"WHAT?!"_

Arwen cowered as Aragorn looked menacingly at her. "WHAT did you say?" he asked.

"I, um… I…"

"You ran away from Pippin?" Aragorn demanded. Pippin, unnoticed until now, started nodding furiously. He had somehow tumbled out of the tank.

Arwen lowered her head. She now felt ashamed. "Yes," she said in a tiny voice.

_"HOW DARE YOU DISOBEY MY ORDERS YOU FAT PIG!!!"_

_"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!"_

_"You heard me you stupid cow!"_

"HOW CAN I BE A FAT PIG _AND_ A STUPID COW?!"

Aragorn thought for a while. "Oh yeah. Good point."

They sat there for a minute or two. Pippin was still nodding furiously. Arwen wondered why he hadn't hyperventilated yet.

"So, um…" she said.

_Suddenly Pippin jumped up and yelled, "Let's have a party!"_

_Aragorn and Arwen raised their eyebrows. There was an awkward silence._

_"Oh, fine!" Pippin said. "I'll just have to spend this one million dollars on myself!"_

"ONE MILLION DOLLARS!!!" Arwen and Aragorn exclaimed together. They both turn to Pippin, who was grinning from ear to ear.

"Where'd you get THAT kind of money from, you stupid fat hobbit?" Aragorn asked.

Pippin put his hands on his hips. "I'm not stupid, that's Sam. I'm not fat either, that's Sam also."

Aragorn thought for a while. "Oh yeah. Good point."

_"Well Aragorn paid me on million dollars to look after you, Arwen."_

_Aragorn blushed. "Oh yeah!"_

"So let's have a party. We'll hold it at your house."

And so all three of them were happy. They walked back along Arwen's river of tears to the house and when they go there, Pippin when straight to the mantelpiece to look at his mushrooms.

Ding-dong! _Went the doorbell. Arwen rushed to get it. She was incredibly excited about this party, as Aragorn had never let her have anyone in the house before. She opened the door._

_"Legolas!" she cried._ She was about to give him a hug, but she saw that his hair was tangled and matted. _Oh dear,_ she thought, _something must be wrong!_

"What's wrong?" she asked.

Legolas' lower lip trembled. "They kicked me out! I've lost my job!"

_"Oh no!" she hugged him tightly anyway and led him into the dungeon._ The dungeon was cold and damp but Arwen clicked her fingers and a fire sprang up from the middle of nowhere.

"Now," she said to Legolas, sitting him down in a corner of the room, "I want you to _tell me aaaall about your troubles…"_

_"Well, I refused to do Saruman's hair, because as you know,_ he NEVER conditions – "

"He doesn't?" said Arwen, shocked. "Th-that's terrible!"

"I KNOW!" said Legolas. "So anyways, _they fired me. It was so terrible!" he began sobbing hysterically._

_"Poor Legolas!" Arwen cried and hugged him extremely tightly. After a few seconds, she realised, to her horror, that Legolas smelt bad! It was disgusting! He absolutely reeked of_ fish. Suddenly, she remembered that he had turned into a fish earlier on.

"Er, Legolas," she started. "Aren't you supposed to be a fish? Didn't you get _laughingus fishius_?"

_There was no response. Then she realised he wasn't breathing! She shrugged._

_"Oh well. Shit happens." And with that, she walked away._

She walked out and locked the door behind her, thinking she heard Legolas' muffled "Hey!" from the dungeon but decided that was just her imagination. She went up the stairs to the living room, where lots of people were already congregated. 

_So and so were having an argument._ Arwen realised that So #1 was Elrond and So #2 was Frodo. She was puzzled. Why were _they_ arguing?

_"You stole my eyebrows!" shouted Elrond._

_"What eyebrows? You don't have any eyebrows! No eyebrows like YOU!"_

_"Yes they do!" and he burst into tears._

"Now, now," intervened Aragorn, stepping between the two of them. "Enough fighting! We're supposed to be enjoying this party."

Arwen didn't really care if Elrond was fighting with Frodo. _But she knew Aragorn did because_ _he_ was the one that stole the eyebrows. He looked around guiltily, as if looking for a chance to escape. His eyes landed on _a chair, but because the chair was elvish, and therefore impossible small, they rolled off and landed with a splat on the floor._

"Eeew!" screamed Pippin. "Eyeballs!"

"Eeew!" screamed Merry, who was copying Pippin.

Aragorn grinned evilly, and Arwen was a little intimidated by what she saw as her beloved was sightless. _Then he smiled at her and she forgot about her intimidation. She was about to remove his shirt when the doorbell rang again. _

_Reluctantly, she left her eyeball-less beloved and opened the door. Gandalf was standing there in a fluro pink micro-bikini, holding a box of porn. Arwen screamed and fainted, but immediately woke up again. Elrond rushed over and took the butterfly clip porn from Gandalf._

"Thank you SO much!" cried Elrond. "I've been looking for this!"

"Hey! That's mine!" Gandalf protested. He made a grab for the porn in Elrond's hands but Elrond was too quick for him. He ran down the hallway with Gandalf, half-naked, chasing after him.

_Elrond, with his superior half-elven abilities, leapt over the roof and ran back into the fires from whence he came._

_"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Aragorn wailed. "Elrond come back! Elwondie!!!"_

Arwen started at him, flabber and gasted. Aragorn had now gone over to the fire and was wailing, rocking back and forth on his heels. Arwen stood up and in the living room, Pippin was attempting to kill Merry and Merry was attempting to kill himself too. Sam was bragging about his skinny-ness to Gimli, who had brought along his bird friend and Frodo, who was depressed, in a fridge-ish sort of way. _She screamed._

And everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at her.

"I can't take this anymore!" she yelled.

"Hehehe…" said Pippin.

"Hehehe…" said Merry.

Pippin picked up Merry'slovethebeercan and made to crush it. 

_"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Merry cried._

_"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!" Pippin cried and crushed the beer can. _

_Merry was inconsolable._

"HELLO!" yelled Arwen. "This about ME! Not some stupid beer can!"

Everyone started at her again, even Gimli's bird friend and the crushed Merry'slovethebeercan. Suddenly a voice said, "Arwen!" _And riding in on his trusty steed was Boromir._

_"Marry me Arwen! I shall listen to all of your troubles!"_

_"Of course I shall, my beloved!"_

_"Hey!" Aragorn interjected. "I thought _I_ was your beloved!"_

_"You're Elrond's beloved," Arwen reminded him._

_"Oh yeah!" Aragorn went back to his rocking and immediately lost ten kilograms_. Now he resembled a stick.

Boromir climbed off his steed and walked over to Arwen and embraced her. She embraced him back and Aragorn started to howl as well as rock. _He began to cry incessantly. Eru felt sorry for him and turned him into a rock. Aragorn became Middle Earth's only wailing rock. _

"Oh dear…" said Boromir, not sounding sorry at all. He now had Arwen to himself. _He cackled evilly_ and Arwen moved away from him.

"I, um… I changed my mind."

Boromir was shocked. "I thought you loved me!"

"Yeah, and I though Merry loved _me_ until he found that empty beer can!" _Pippin wailed. Merry, whose beer can had died, hugged Pippin._

_"Pip, I still love you."_

_"That's so sweet!" Pippin cried._

_"Get a room, you two!" Gimli cried. So they ran off and brought a room and lived happily ever after. _

"So, Arwen," Gimli asked casually, "How are you going with getting rid of that 'tree'?"

Uh-oh. Aragorn must not know about this. Arwen tried to shut Gimli up.

"WHAT?!" Aragorn turned immediately back into a 'human'. _"YOU GOT RID OF MY 'TREE'!!!" Aragorn wailed._

_"Well it was getting festi!"_

"I HATE YOU ARWEN!!!" screamed Aragorn.

Arwen put her face in her hands. Everything was going downhill. And it was getting worse too.

Boromir was angry at her too. "You dishonourable woman! How could you just get rid of your adopted 'tree' like that?"

_"It clashed with my lounge chair!"_

_"So?! It was a 'tree'. A __'treeeeeeeee'!"_

_Aragorn wailed hysterically. Boromir hugged him. "Don't worry Ari, I'll buy you a new one."_

_"YAY!!!"_

Arwen was shocked. "What about me?"

Boromir and Aragorn had their arms around each other. Arwen felt unimportant.

"What ABOUT you?" replied Boromir. "You're a traitor to your husband!"

_"Yeah, you 'tree' killer!"_

_"But – but – Ari , I thought I was your beloved! Your one and only! The alpha to your omega!"_

_"Not anymore."_

_"What did you say?"_

_"Boromir looks after us now. We don't need you."_

_"What?!"_

_But Aragorn just stuck his tongue out at her and with that, he skipped away, arm in arm with Boromir into the rock wall._

Arwen sat, dizzy. Why was this happening to her? This party was a disaster. She had now lost everything that she had before – well, except her hair. _Suddenly she felt a cool breeze blowing across her head. She reached up and felt – NOTHING!_

_HERHAIR WAS GONE!!!_

_She screamed._

_Gollum ran in. "Arwen, baby, what's wrong?"_

_Normally Arwen would have vomited at the sight of Gollum, but that the moment she was too distressed._

_"MY HAIR FELL OUT!!!"_

_"Don't worry dear. I'll show you how to comb it over so no-one will notice!"_

_Arwen took one look at Gollum's hair and immediately shot herself in the head. Everyone, no matter where in Middle Earth they were, cheered. Then they all got extremely drunk and lived happily ever after.___

_THE END_

__________________________________________

We have now reached the grand finale of _A Series of Random Events_, I would just like to say a few words. 

**Me**: Well, from bus trips to bowling places, this series has traveled with us far and wide. This will be our mark that we leave to the fanfiction community. And although we don't actually own anything at all, we would dearly love to have Aragorn.

**Nic**: Hello! Aragorn is a sexy sexy man. I don't look like Legolas! Deborah LIES!!!

We would both like to thank the readers and/or the reviewers, bad ass gangsta luva, Yvette, Aaron (who has a copy of the whole series), _Shrek_, _The Matrix_ people, CHS Rowing regatta at Grafton and Bowling for giving us time to write and J.R.R. Tolkien – we couldn't have done it without him!

And if you haven't read the rest of the stories… DO THAT!!! Browse through my and Nic's accounts… strictly speaking, you really should have read them in order. There some sort of numbering system going up soon. And for now, THANKS FOR READING THE STORY!!! We love you!


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